The value of family traditions

Each year my husband’s family gathers for Thanksgiving at his brother’s house.  It is the one time of year everyone can count on being together.  Last year, due to an illness in their family, we were unable to have that time together.  We felt the loss.  My adult kids said, “It just didn’t feel like Thanksgiving.”

Do you have family traditions?  These can be something simple with just your nuclear family or bigger and include your extended family.

Values Parenting website had a wonderful article about family traditions.  Here is an excerpt

“Almost all families have traditions, at least subconscious ones, often centering on holidays or the special occasions. But some parents come to realize the importance of traditions and the ability of good traditions to teach values to improve communication, to give security to kids, and to hold families together. Such parents can refine and redefine their family traditions and give them true and lasting bonding power.

Start by assessing and analyzing your own family traditions. What do you do on each holiday? Each family birthday? Do you have some weekly traditions, such as a special Sunday dinner? Are there some monthly traditions, such as going over the calendar and the family’s schedule for the month ahead? Make a list of your yearly, monthly, and weekly traditions.

Then, as a family, ask yourself three questions: How much joy or how much fun comes from each tradition? What values are taught by each tradition? Are there some gaps – some months without a holiday or birthday tradition? With these questions in mind, revise and redesign your family traditions. Formalize them a little by writing them up on a chart or in a special book.

Here’s a sampling of what happened to us as we went through this reassessing process:

1. We revised some traditions. For example, our Thanksgiving tradition had essentially been to eat way too much and watch football all day on TV. We decided to shift the emphasis to thanks by making a collective list, on a long roll of cash register tape, of all the little things we are thankful for. Each year we try to “break the record” for the number of things listed.
2. We decided it would be good to have at least one major family tradition each month, to look forward to and anticipate. Most of these centered on a birthday or holiday, but there was nothing in May or September so we started a “welcome-spring day” (a hike) and a “welcome-fall day” (a picnic).
3. We listed all the traditions, by month, in a big, leather-bound book. A little description of each tradition appears on the left and a child’s illustration of that activity appears on the right.

Besides the once-a-year-type birthday or holiday traditions, there can be shorter-range traditions. Many families have religious traditions on Saturday or Sunday. There can be traditional ways of cooking a particular meal or of getting ready for school or of packing for a trip. Some traditions are real rituals, involving a particular sequence of events. There is comfort and security and identity in family rituals.

One other personal incident will illustrate the “staying power” and bonding influence of family traditions. On my (Richard’s) birthday in October, we had always raked huge piles of leaves with the kids and then jumped in them, stuffed them in our shirts, thrown them in the air, and just generally had a wild time. We thought as the kids got older, their interest in such a frivolous activity would fade. On the contrary, when they were teens, the leaf piles just got bigger. Finally, one year, four of our children were away at school or living abroad. On my birthday, four birthday cards arrived. As I opened the first, a leaf fell out and a note, “Dad, I honored your birthday tradition. Here’s a leaf from my jumping pile. I love you.” Through my tears I opened the other three – and a leaf fell from each.”

Last year at Christmas our family had a simple “photo booth” (a background hung on the wall and a camera) with different Christmas props.  I actually purchased one of those new instant cameras for some extra fun. You can find one like it HERE.

I treasure the photo of my mom being so silly!  We had so much fun with this that I hope to make it a tradition.  I can just imagine all the photos through the year as kids grow up, our family expands and so much more.  I’ll probably add a few new props each year just to change it up.

We also had our first gathering around our fire pit at our new house.  I’m brainstorming how this can become part of a special tradition.  As a grandparent I also see these traditions as ways to get the whole family together.  That’s important to me.

I know, through conversations with you, that family is very important to you too.  I invite you to add a comment to this post or drop me an email with ideas of traditions you have with your family.

Give thanks for everything

Give thanks to God always and for everything. 

Ephesians 5:20

At our Devotion Worship last week we talked about saying thanks to God.  But, what are we thankful for?  Luckily we had a Thankful machine (our conveyor belt) that actually spit out ideas for us.  Our thankful machine worked with the energy from children clapping.  Did you know clapping is another way of saying Thank You?

  

   

Anyway, our machine spit out pictures such as “nose” and on the back side was “toes.”  Hey, we noticed those two things rhyme too.  Noses are good because, as one boy said, “it helps me breath.”  Yes, breathing is a very good thing to be thankful for.  🙂  These two items actually fit well into a song Ms. Jayne wrote for us.

 

I AM THANKFUL

Tune – original but begins kind of like Twinkle, Twinkle

I am thankful for my nose

I am thankful for my toes

My nose. My toes.

My nose. My toes.

I am thankful.

We sang this and added some additional “My nose, My toes” phrases . . . . . and went faster and faster.  It was great to see the kids having fun while talking about being thankful.  I think sometimes we get just a little too serious with this kind of discussion.  It IS important to remember, but we can give thanks in fun ways too.

Other verses we sang are:  The sun, I can run.  My head, My bed.  My shoe, And You.  I play, I pray.  See if you can come up with some new rhyming things you are thankful for.   Here is a link to an audio clip of Ms. Jayne singing her song.  I AM THANKFUL

Thank you Ms. Jayne, we love your creativity that helped us talk about being thankful in a fun, yet meaningful, way!

I also want to share with you a conversation I recently had with one of our parents.  I mentioned that I like to talk with the kids about “silly” things we can be thankful for.  I told her that I once mentioned toilet paper.  The children laughed hilariously.  Then we thought about it.  What would it be like if we didn’t have it?  We realized we really are thankful for toilet paper.

She mentioned that she lived in the Czech Republic during the Communist regime.  She remembers that toilet paper was one of the rationed items.  They would only get it on certain days and on those days there were LONG lines of people waiting for toilet paper.  As you can imagine, her mother was strict about how many squares of paper you could use each time.

WOW!  This truly put my life into perspective.  I’ve had times that I had to be cautious about what I could spend.  I’ve had to make choices between “fun” or “special” items and the necessary items.  BUT, I’ve never had to worry about having the essentials such as toilet paper.  I am blessed.

Perhaps this story will also touch your hearts.  I pray we all recognize and celebrate all blessings, large and small, and share with God our heartfelt thanks.

I pray we give thanks to God always and for everything.  

We wish you a Happy Thanksgiving!

 

Nature walk – a perfect fall activity

I love fall.  I love the cooler weather (although we’ve had a little extra cool than typical), the beautiful colors, the pumpkins and other fall fruit.  It’s the time of year I most enjoy being outside.  Perhaps your family does as well.

Children are naturally inquisitive about nature and often will use it in their play.  On our playground the children use small stick, stones, sticky balls, leaves, and acorns in a variety of different types of play.  It’s an environment rich with possibilities. I’ve seen many of our families out for a walk together.  That’s fabulous.  Next time your family heads out for a walk, you may want to try making it a Nature Walk.  This has two benefits; expending energy and the awareness of nature.  Simply print out the picture below and check off the items you see on the way.  You could take time to compare two of a similar item you see – i.e. a robin and a crow.  This encourages your child’s observation skills, attention span, fine motor development and literacy awareness.

In the spring our Red classes will be learning about the 5 senses.  In past years they have taken a listening walk.

I love watching them walk around with their clipboards intently listening so they could mark off the different items.  Feel free to copy and past the two checklists for your own nature walk.

 

 

Our Halloween fun – What? No Parties?

My husband actually said to me, “Oh, that’s right, you bah humbug Halloween.”  He was referring to our lack of costumes and parties in our preschool classes.  Don’t worry, I quickly set him straight.  🙂

At Aldersgate Preschool we elect to keep our kids’ holidays pretty low-key.  I know you can relate to the hype and “energy” surrounding holidays in our society.  That’s part of our thinking.  Here are a few of our thoughts driving our decision about holidays.  (Hang in there with me through this part – there are photos at the end.)

Routines

We work hard to provide routines for the children while they are in class.  Education.com says this,

” One of the most important things that you can do to make your young child feel safe is to establish as much routine in his life as possible. Children (and adults) feel the most secure when their lives are predictable. When adults provide environments that feel safe, children learn that they can trust others to take care of them and meet their needs, so they become free to relax and explore their world. “

Confusion and missing items

I directed a preschool that did have parties and a parade.  Oh, the tales I could tell about the missing pieces of costumes, the mix-ups about who are doing crafts, the crafts that were not age appropriate, the children upset or crying . . .   Sorry if I sound cynical but with preschool and younger children these are a few of the realities.

Family time becomes even more special

Think about how special Trick-or-Treating becomes when it is the real highlight for your child.    I know some children are also exhausted after parties and the change of routines.  Hopefully our low-key day allows children to have a “less melt down” experience while they trick-or-treat.

Young children can be scared of the unusual

I saw a perfect example of this in our three year old class.  Ms. Susan showed the children an electric jack-o-lantern.  Most of the children enjoyed the glow and the novelty as they talked about the shapes used in the face, etc.  However, even with this friendly faced item, one boy said, “Oh, that’s a scary face.”  He looked concerned until he was comforted by another teacher.  When the festivities are at home with parents, those fears are lessened and there is more more flexibility in how the activity must proceed to accommodate each child’s level of fear or excitement.

The holiday can generate interest in new learning 

As you will see below, we do talk about Halloween and the other holidays.  We use the children’s base of knowledge to encourage interest in different kinds of activities that build skills; social, cognitive, language, fine motor and many more.  (Okay, here are those pictures I promised.  Look for all the different kinds of opportunities the children enjoyed yesterday – on Halloween.)

Developmental opportunities:  Science, language, sensory, cooperation

Developmental opportunities: group dynamics, language (in the photo on the left each child got to talk to their class “puppet” and say what he or she will be for Halloween), self control, cognitive areas

 

Developmental opportunities:  dramatization & language (this two year old class had the children practice knocking on the door in the box and saying “Trick-or-treat!” and then “Thank You.” Of course there was a little playing of Peek-a-boo too.)

Developmental opportunities: group dynamics, cooperation, self control (it’s hard to WAIT!), physics, cognitive, language, large motor

 

Developmental opportunities:  cognitive skills, listening skills, fine motor control

Developmental opportunities:  Fine motor, project planning, persistence, creative exploration (the first picture is a creation of two monsters), language (there was a lot of talking between the artists)

 

Of course all the staff talked with the kids about their plans for Halloween and what costume they will wear.  Then, today we visited about their actual Halloween experience.  Today I heard lots of stories about trick-or-treating and of course LOTS of candy.

We hope you all enjoyed a wonderful Halloween!